Newport Independent - Newport, AR
A lighter look at life in the slow lane.
I have a super-cool office chair
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By Leslie Fite
Leslie Rose Fite is a native of south Arkansas and grew up with a family filled with dysfunction and laughter.
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By Leslie Fite
July 6, 2012 12:01 a.m.

I started my new job a few days ago. Like most people, I took extra time getting ready, and figured I’d be on my best behavior. After all, you only get to make a first impression once so you should do it right.
So they took me to an office and showed me my new chair. It is huge. (Ever seen Edith Anne?) I couldn’t seem to make my feet touch the ground without slumping.
So as soon as I’m left alone I look under the chair and start playing with the handles trying to make it lower. Played with the first one – nothing happened. The second – nothing. When I touched the third handle I realized that my new chair is super special and oh so cool – even if I can’t touch the floor. Why? Because it comes with it’s own very awesome eject button.
That’s right, push that button and the chair flies forward, slinging any unsuspecting occupant a foot in front of the chair. You may have already guessed, that’s where my new desk is. It is hard. So yes, the first five minutes on the job, the people down the hall probably hard some ‘whoosh, thud, smack,’ followed by crazy girl laughter.
Oh yeah, I know how to make a great first impression.

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