Newport Independent - Newport, AR
A lighter look at life in the slow lane.
I may be a little naive
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By Leslie Fite
Leslie Rose Fite is a native of south Arkansas and grew up with a family filled with dysfunction and laughter.
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July 12, 2012 12:01 a.m.

I recently flew to Las Vegas with my new employer.
I’m not well traveled. There are many things that I have to learn. For example, reading the menu at an upscale restaurant, I have to be told that that fancy sounding French word really just means green beans. And when trying to close the curtains in my room (because Vegas may never sleep, but I do), I pulled. Nothing happened. I pulled harder. The sound of a motor scared the crap out of me. I jumped. I caught something moving from the corner of my eye. I jumped further and more exaggerated.
Okay, the motor was the automatic curtain, and the thing moving was me. They really like mirrors in that hotel. J
ust silly little things that I didn’t know, but one of the worst was the bathroom in the Tao, an Asian lounge in our hotel (as it turns out, you can go to one of these hotels and never have the need to leave. Even if you want to take a ride in a canoe.)
So I’m standing on the second floor of this lounge (which I’m already finding creepy due to the red lights and doll statues everywhere) and I’m arguing with the restroom attendant.
Yep, you heard right.
I’m telling her that I will not be going in those restrooms and she’s shoving me forward insisting I lock the door and go. The problem – the door is clear. I can look out and see my new employer, some salesmen, the bartender… Yep. Not going. I may not be shy, but there are definite limits to this. Peeing in front of an entire room of people gathered for a pharmacy convention is definitely crossing the line.
The restroom attendant does not seem to understand this.
"Lock the door, honey," she is telling me. She seems to think I must not understand her English and is showing me how the lock works. I finally turn the lock just to shut her up and hope she goes away while I make my escape.
When I do, the door turns white. Poor restroom attendant – As I walk out I see her arguing with the next southern girl who is also insisting that she can wait…

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